SWIM WITH ME

I keep trying to be a fairy Painted cardboard wings Glitter in my hair Because fairies get gardens Homes to share But when they rip off my wings They're surprised to find teeth "It's a wraith! Beware!"

It’s like hemorrhaging that I can’t quite staunch, an embarrassment, really. A blip in your timeline, a fracture in mine. I can’t look in the mirror and ask, “Well, what did you learn?” Because the answer in my reflection is that I can’t even trust myself.

Silly, at this point, writing about such. Silly,the idea of being mocked for feeling. Then I remember: people are afraid to feel. My words, a greatest fear spilled in ink, in one sitting. Mocking me for feeling is like mocking a swimmer in deep waters. I can drown, but I can also float, weightless. They are stuck in the shallows, feet digging into sand, watching me drift beneath the moonlight. Even if I drown in feeling, their sandy feet would envy the tide that carries me. I will feel everything. I will take every jab. How grateful I am to have the courage to swim toward danger, to choose a moonlit swell of emotion, to surrender to the tides.

I have descended into reclusive bliss. I do not think I would like to return. Each time I curl at the bottom of this well, I hear the birds more clearly. I gaze at the moon more lovingly. From here, the world above is louder in its secrets, I hear the schemes being laid out, smell the rain before it arrives. They throw their coins and spill their desires. Each passing night, I tell the moon and the crows all I have learned. Even from my humid stone home, my wishes are for yours to come true

Rose like cheeks chubby little feet a cherub flying above a swinging seat trailing ribbons wild curled hair like a Renaissance painting meet me there an overflowing basket lavender scented breeze a chalice falling over grass stained knees ribbon tied gown proper stitched tweed pages forgotten lips that yearn to meet a balmy spring bodies feel like summer tongues sticky sweet just a dream-like lover kismet indeed.

Afraid to be consumed? Then yes, you are right to run. I will unapologetically. With a satisfied smile, your essence dripping down my chin, your eyes rolled back in ecstasy. I would. The pleasure is in the risk. You are never unsafe. I only ever have the taste for you. Afraid to be pulled to sea? Then yes, dig your heels into the sand. I will pull you in to tread. Steady even in the swell, counting down to three, Atlantis below our feet I would. The wonder is in the surrender. A choice. What if we both drowned in this paradise, crowned rulers of this forgotten land? When boredom grays your bones, when your blanket of safety turns cold, Ven acá, mi amor, I’ll paint your marrow. My fire will still be roaring, my small palm reaching, beckoning you forward, will you still be too afraid to burn?

What irony that we wrap ourselves in lace and ribbons like a present to men. When so rarely do they see the true gift standing in front of them

Lower your sword They shout You're scaring them away I hope I do, I smile as they run I'm alone, but I won. Lower the blade They beg No one will ever stay Armor around their heart I'll even give them a head start. Lower the weapon They plead No one will look your way Settle or be a spinster But my fingers on the trigger. I don't crave defeat Or a sword at my feet Or to win Just a mischievous grin, With my dagger against Your chin.